


i (don't not) love you

by Innocenzo



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Lies, Light Angst, Multi, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Speculation, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22203988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Innocenzo/pseuds/Innocenzo
Summary: gina porter finds herself torn between love and friendship. who knew it would be this complicated?or,ricky returns from christmas holidays and realises that gina's back.
Relationships: Big Red/Ashlyn Caswell, E.J. Caswell & Gina Porter, Gina Porter & Ashlyn Caswell, Gina Porter & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter, Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter/Nini Salazar-Roberts, Rina - Freeform - Relationship, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	i (don't not) love you

"You ready for the second semester of sophomore year girl?" Ashlyn asked Gina as they stepped out of E.J.'s jeep. 

Gina shut the black door behind her and bounced her new designer bag, a Christmas gift from the Casswell's, onto the crook of her elbow. 

"If you mean: am I looking forward to auditioning for the spring musical? Then, hell yeah!" Gina replied with a huge grin and spring in her step, erasing all negative thoughts from her mind. 

X

Christmas had been hectic.

Ashlyn and her parents had offered her a room at their mansion. Gina begged her mom to let her live with them so she could attend East High. 

("Please, mom! Please!")

It had been an emotional conversation, there had been tears and yelling, eventually, her mom gave in. She could see how much it meant to Gina to stay at East High, where she had finally made friends.

X

Just before Christmas Day, Gina packed and return to Salt Lake City. Her mum had work and hadn't been around to help. E.J. helped her pack instead. 

("Do you regret it?" he asked. 

"Regret what?" she replied. 

"The way you ended it with Ricky?"

"Do you?" she said. They both knew she wasn't talking about Ricky.)

X

Christmas at the Casswell's had been a dream.

("E.J.! Can you pass me the gravy boat, please?" Ashlyn asked. 

E.J. picked up the gravy and started pouring it over his plate. 

"E.J. you jerk! Stop finishing the gravy!" Ashlyn scrambled over the table to grab it from him.

Gina giggled at their antics.)

It was chaotic. But, it the first Christmas in years where it was more than just her and her mum sitting in front of the T.V. with a take out meal. It felt ... normal. 

X

"Do you  _ have _ to be so perky in the mornings?" E.J. complained as he chucked a casual arm around Gina's and Ashlyn's shoulders and led the girls through the trickling crowd of morose students returning from the holidays. 

"Oh, don't be such a Debbie Downer! You know --- Mars is in retrograde at the moment. Must be why you've been such a grouse for the last few weeks. Negative energy is hanging over you like a cloud, my friend." Ashlyn poked his side. 

He swatted her hand away violently, almost knocking Gina into another student. 

"Or maybe he's been a bitch because of that," Gina nodded towards East High's doors. The school's sweethearts, Ricky and Nini, were entangled in each other's arms. They were in their own bubble. 

Gina felt E.J. stiffen beside her, and she felt for him. She really did. For all his mistakes, E.J. had really liked Nini. She understood how he felt.

"Yo, E.J.!" The basketball jocks heckled by the fountain. 

"I'll catch up with you later," said E.J. as he untangled his arm from Gina. 

Gina watched him walking away before turning back to Ashlyn. She was waiting with a thoughtful look in her eyes. As if she knew something Gina didn't. Gina's eyebrows furrowed. 

"What?" Gina asked, feeling self-conscious, her skin prickling.

Ashlyn's expression cleared, and she sent her a soft smile.

"Nothing, don't worry. You're just in for an interesting New Year, my dear Virgo," she said with a wink as she linked her arm through Gina's.

Gina rolled her eyes but couldn't hold back a grin as she let Ashlyn drag her through the doors of East High. 

_ Well _ , she supposed, _ it couldn't be any worse than last year could it? _

X

"Hey, hey! What's happening, Wildcats?" Carlos grinned as he and Seb joined their small gathering at lunch. 

There was a smattering chorus of 'Heys!' and 'How was your holiday?-s' as everyone clambered to catch up with each other. 

"G," Carlos reached over and grabbed her arm, "I'm so glad that you are back! It wouldn't have been the same without you, girl!"

Gina blushed and grinned.

"I missed you guys too. Have you started thinking about the choreography for the spring musical?" She asked with equal excitement.

" _ Think _ ?!" Seb snorted as he bit into his sandwich. "Miss Jenn and Carlos talked about her ideas for the spring musical right after the curtain call, and it's all he could talk about over Christmas. Correct me if I'm wrong, babe, but you've already choreographed like three of the dances? Am I right, or am I right?" Seb teased.

"Give or take," Carlos replied with an exaggerated diva expression and a toss of his head.

The table broke out into raucous laughter.

X

"Hey, guys!" A new, bubbly voice broke their bubble. 

The table turned as one to see Kourtney, Big Red, Nini and Ricky standing near the table. 

Gina's breath seized in her throat as her eyes landed on Ricky and caught his astonished gaze.

Memories of their conversation on the rooftop on opening night came flooding back to her.

X

_ "Hey there, Wildcat," Gina spoke softly, almost too scared to break the fragile space between them.  _

_ Ricky's head snapped up.  _

_ She bit her lip as she spied his red-rimmed eyes and wet eyelashes under the moonlight.  _

_ He said nothing, but he also didn't tell her to leave, so she took his silence as an invitation. Under his watchful gaze, she walked closer, until she sat beside him on the cold, wet bench. _

_ They sat together in silence, him staring ahead, and her staring at him. Until he turned and caught her eye.  _

_ "Do you ever feel?---" His voice cracked, and he looked away again. She kept quiet, understanding his need to gather his thoughts and emotions. He sighed with defeat and hung his head. _

_ "She brought her new boyfriend tonight."  _

_ Gina almost wanted to ask whether he was talking about Nini or his mum. But, thankfully, her brain was faster than her mouth, so she held her tongue and tried to put the pieces together herself. He was hurt. She didn't want to add to it.  _

_ "It's just --- every time I think I am overcoming something---and learning to accept changes---but then there's something else .... there's  _ **_ always _ ** _ something else. I mean---my mum could have at least given me heads up? A text?---A call? To say, 'Hey! I know I've never introduced you to him, but I will be bringing my boyfriend tonight to your opening night.' Is that so much to ask?!"  _

_ He sounded as frustrated and furious with the world as she has felt before. When her dad left; when her mum took a job that pulled her away weeks to months at a time; always moving around?  _

_ Yeah, she got it.  _

_ She moved her hand to reach out to him--- _

_ "And then, Nini ... she's got someone in the audience. From an Arts school, for a scholarship ..."  _

_ Gina squashed the flare of jealousy that crept up and retracted her hand as if burned. But he didn't notice a thing.  _

_ "I couldn't screw it up for her, you know?---My head ..." he huffed a defeated laugh, " _ **_ my head wasn't in the game _ ** _."  _

_ Gina took a moment to calm herself down from telling him; 'Screw Nini and screw your mom. Do this for you.' But she knew him, and she knew that it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.  _

_ So, she said, "That's fine. You don't have to go back on that stage, but at least come down with me and watch the last---" she looked down at her watch, "12 minutes of the show. Everyone's worked so hard --- it wouldn't be the same without you there --- even if only on the sidelines." _

_ Ricky hesitated, and she could see the rejection coming, so without thinking, she reached over and planted a kiss on his cheek. His skin felt ice-cold under her warm lips, and she shivered as she pulled away.  _

_ With a small smile, she noticed the smear of lipgloss on his cheek and shifted to wipe it away --- he caught her hand before she could. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart pounded against her ribcage.  _

_ "Gina --- what?" He asked her, in that familiar doe-eyed expression reminiscent of the one he had that night after Homecoming in his car.  _

_ She pushed down the embarrassment that was seeping into her bones and instead pleaded,  _ _ "Please, Ricky? For me? It's my last night, and I'll be gone in the morning. I want you to be a part of my last night at East High." _

_ "--Okay." He agreed, with little encouragement, as he threaded his fingers through hers. _

_ The beat of her heart thundered away as they stood up together, hands still interlaced. She expected Ricky to pull away, but instead, he tugged her forward and she stumbled into his chest. A fierce blush flamed her face as he held her in his arms in a tight hug. She breathed his musky scent and wished this was more than platonic for him as it was for her. _

_ "Thanks, Gigi," he whispered into her shoulder.  _

_ Her heart skipped a beat at his new nickname. It rhymed with Nini, but she didn't care. He came up with it for her. _

_ His lips pressed into her clavicle, and it wasn't the chill of the winter air that made her shiver. "I didn't say it earlier, but I'm glad you came back tonight." _

_ The walk from the rooftop to the gym was a bit of a blur for her. Ricky pulled her along, her hand tightly grasped in his. Her mind kept traitorously replaying their hug upstairs, again and again, making her feel as warm and fuzzy as she had been in his arms.  _

_ As they walked through the doors, the first few beats of Breaking Free played, and E.J. hit all the notes as though he had been preparing to play Troy all along behind the scenes.  _

_ And as the second half of the Wonderstudies, she wouldn't be surprised if he really had been.  _

_ E.J. looked over the audience confidently before his gaze landed on her, and then on Ricky, and abruptly, his voice fell flat. With a knowing glance, he walked off the stage, leaving Nini alone on stage with an equally confused audience. _

_ A second passed, and Nini's gaze moved over to the gym doors. She only had eyes for Ricky.  _

_ She started singing Troy's lines, acapella, as she walked towards them and Gina's pulse quickened, very, very conscious of her hand in Ricky's.  _

_ When Nini stood in front of Ricky, holding her phone up with the torch as he had done for her at auditions all those months ago; he dropped her hand. Just like that. _

_ Gina held back a sad smile as Nini convinced Ricky to join her on stage again. It didn't take him much encouragement. Her heart sank to her stomach as Nini told him to just look at her as he sang.  _

_ "Some Wonderstudies we are, huh?" E.J. asked as he walked up to her.  _

_ "The best ...!" she replied, with a waning smile.  _

_ For all her acting abilities, she couldn't bring herself to feel happy for them. Not when her heart felt like it was being shredded to pieces with ever bar that Nini and Ricky dueted.  _

_ All she could focus on was the small glaze of smeared, pale lipgloss on his right cheek under the stage lights. It was the only indication that what had transpired on the roof had not been a figment of her imagination. _

X

"G-Gina?" Ricky asked, looking slightly pale with shock. 

Gina bit back a bitter smile and instead, relaxed her expression into one of kind friendship. 

"Hey, Ricky! How was your Christmas?" she asked amicably. 

"You're back at East High?" Ricky continued as if he had not heard her. 

Those at the table shared bewildered and surreptitious looks, but Ricky, Gina and Nini remained ignorant. 

"Oh, didn't I tell you, babe?" Nini asked, her gaze flicked quickly between Gina and Ricky before settling on Ricky. 

Gina flinched at the term of endearment and clenched the hand. Resting under the table, her nails into her palm to ground herself. 

"Tell me what?" Ricky asked quietly, in almost an accusatory tone, his intense blue eyes not having left Gina.

"Ashlyn offered Gina a room at her place. Gina's back at East High for good! Did I not tell you this? I could've sworn that I did!" Nini continued obliviously.

Ricky's jaw clenched as he ground out, "No. You didn't."

But his accusation was no longer on Nini, it was focussed on her, and the question in his eyes was plain as day: " _ Why didn't  _ **_ you _ ** _ tell me _ ?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the title because it flowed better with the theme and hence the summary also changed. The chapter has been edited for better readability. Let me know your thoughts, I would love to hear them <3

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I was really really hoping for a Rina endgame but it doesn't seem likely unless Disney is really doing something different to their usual cookie-cutter romances and making Rina the slow-burn endgame. I mean never say never, right? But until then, I will have to live with fanfiction!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this. Apologies if there are grammatical or spelling errors! I'm writing this quite late at night, will probably edit mistakes in the morning. x


End file.
